Challenging Cultural Traditions and Gender Expectations

by Miguel Navarro

I’ll never forget how I felt the time I put on a Quinceañera dress. The night before my sister’s celebration I sneaked into her room and put on her shiny white dress with dozens of bright pink 6-inch roses sewn all over. I was 8 years old, and this was my dream. The lavish dress was obviously large enough to cover me completely from head to toe, but I didn’t care. I looked into the mirror, twirled, and danced for several minutes and pretended it was the day of my Quince. I also tried on the 3-inch heels that matched the color of the roses, even though my small feet kept slipping out with every step. Those brief five to seven minutes gave me great joy and satisfaction and that is when I realized I was a bit different than most kids my age.

I was also terrified because my family sat outside just a few feet away from the bedroom watching the 7PM Telenovela. Intense scenes in the Telenovela must have played out at that moment because everyone was quiet and glued to the couch. I listened carefully for any footsteps getting close to the bedroom and my plan was to quickly drop and crawl under the bed if someone walked my way. What would my parents or sister say and do if they saw me in this dress? I’m sure they would be shocked and upset since their views on gender at that time included boys staying far away from dresses, especially a Quinceañera dress.

Growing up in a Mexican household, at least once a year I witnessed one of the most famous traditional events of my culture. Many girls celebrating their fifteen birthdays by having a Quinceañera are occasions I remember vividly. The anticipation, music, and dance performances…how can anyone forget such a spectacle? Oh, and the wide sparkly dresses, over-the-top make-up, hair extensions and heels were my favorite. This well-known practice dates back many years and is seen throughout Mexico, Central America and the U.S. It is both a religious and a social event that emphasizes the importance of family and society in the life of a young woman. Families begin planning (and practicing the dance performances) months before the day arrives.

Thankfully, no one saw me that evening in my sister’s room, and looking back, it was more about the dress and heels than about having the full event. The pressure and expectations for someone only 15 years old for one day is immense and I probably would not want all the attention. I just wanted to express myself in different ways and play freely without traditional gender limitations.

Queerceañera: celebrating Latinx Heritage Month, hosted by Valentina (Rupal’s Drag Race) in Los Angeles, and Mexico de Colores, a Queer Ballet Folklorico in Mexico City, are examples of honoring traditions while making space for LGBTQ folks to be part of them in any way they want. I want to help create similar spaces here at The Center and challenge traditions that can feel exclusive and restrictive to someone. We all deserve the right to feel free to express ourselves, wearing what we want, whenever we want, without any fear of rejection.