Reflections –

by Dan Griffin

At the start of this past Pride Month, I was scrolling through Instagram when a video popped up in my feed that stopped me in my tracks – it was a cute animated short with a voiceover reciting a quote from a LGBTQ+ activist, educator and writer, Alexander Leon:

“Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimise humiliation & prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we’ve created to protect us.”

Leon tweeted this back in 2020, and it quickly went viral, many connecting with his message of the collective experience of LGBTQ+ folx navigating through (one could say surviving) childhood by self-editing, putting on masks and personas, trying to reconcile conflicting identities, and the long, hard journey toward authenticity.

Leon’s post resonated so strongly with me due in part, maybe, to my reaching the milestone and (semi) ripe age of fifty this year. But I’ve recently felt compelled to tackle that “massive task” of uncovering my authentic self. For me, it’s been a concerted effort to reconnect with my younger “me.” In many ways, that self was freer, truer, I think. The young me shined bright, no matter who was watching or listening. He was always imagining, creating, performing. He hadn’t yet felt the sting of rejection, the lonely ache of alienation, or the slow burn of shame while struggling to fit into a middle class, Catholic, heteronormative world.

At different times over the years, I’ve felt I was closer to – and sometimes a million miles away from – aligning with and fully realizing my “true” self. I suspect it’ll be a life-long process for me. Working at The Center for the past three years has certainly helped. To know that I am allowed, no, encouraged, to show up authentically every day and to be accepted for who I am, and who I may want to become, is a gift. The Center’s Vision of “Thriving lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people, living authentically in supportive inclusive communities” is not just a lofty ideal or a feel-good catchphrase. It is the embodiment of the work The Center engages in daily.

Offering safe spaces where LGBTQ+ folx can express themselves freely without fear of discrimination or harassment, The Center’s core purpose is making meaningful connections – to resources, to other LGBTQ+ individuals – and sometimes to oneself – all helping to reduce isolation and loneliness, foster a sense of belonging and build community.