Lately, I’ve been reflecting deeply on queer joy: what it means to me, and how it ripples through our community and our loved ones. While the specific phrase “queer joy” doesn’t have one single inventor, we owe so much to writer and activist Audre Lorde. Her work on the “erotic” as a vital force helps us understand queer joy as an act of resistance. By embracing it, we return to our individual and collective power. 

In her essay The Use of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power, Lorde describes this force as a “deep participation” that counters stereotypes. I believe that’s the real answer. Queer joy is an invitation to participate in a way of feeling and being that has been long suppressed. 

Think about it. At an early age (and perhaps into our later life), many of us feel detached from society’s “normal.” We’re told our queerness requires some sort of formal approval and that we must justify our existence with a coming out announcement. But what happens to the child who knows nothing other than simply being joyous? 

In a previous post, my colleague Jade spoke about the idea of “coming in” as a form of self-power: returning to the Self with the intention of care and healing. For many of us, coming out is an act of courage and a lifelong process. As Jade shared, “Each disclosure is a leap of faith… and yet, coming out is only half the story. What if we focused on the idea of coming in?” 

That’s the focus, right? How do we reach a place where we can express ourselves unapologetically, without the fear of being “too much” or being dismissed as someone who just “acts a little too gay”? 

Here’s the real truth: There is no such thing as being “too much” of who you are. We are all beams of light with tremendous power to shine. Queer people do not sit on the sidelines. We build the field and the sidelines so that we can move freely. We build stages so we can share our art. To me, queer people are a beautiful piece of art and expression. And art isn’t linear; art has no boundaries. 

This morning, listening to the podcast It’s Open with Ilana Glazer, I heard a moving conversation with Chase Strangio from the American Civil Liberties Union about queer folks being free. While we might not all feel “free” yet, the takeaway was the necessity of seeking joy.  

That is exactly what Audre Lorde believed: We must seek out joy in the face of erasure. Our joy cannot be borrowed or granted. We must take possession of what already belongs to us. That is Queer Joy.